OK so I was thinkin...yea I know surprise surprise....but I talked to HIM yesterday *thinking* yeah yesterday and I realized suttin...I am 2 dang proud a person....Im the type that when u said you will call me back.....I'll wait...so in doin so I think I missed out on sum things...I dun like to feel like I am sweating someone yanno ?!?! like I be lookin at my phone...and be about to hit *speed dial # ?!* but I just cant bring myself to do it....Common sense would tell me he be as busy as I am...I just cant...Maybe cuz I know what could happen if I talk to him 2 often *thinkin* ok I think I am punkin out...but I have GOOD reason ..trust me...
So he is mad kewl....When I say that I mean it so seriously....like ...how can I say this without sounding mushy ?! Like really he is the type of dude I call my boyfriend or I would call my boyfriend...yanno if the situ was diff...At first I was thinkin sexually....but then I talked to him and was like dayum his voice...things he says....he can say Sup Kid...and I start blushin...I dunno...just a small moment of happiness is all I need in this world...not to be confused with I LOVE HIM...cuz I don't...I mean he is a COOL ASS DUDE....seriously....potentially a GREAT friend altho due to "certain circumstances" it may cause an issue....I'm just really feelin our situ....*cheese face* the fact that he is FOINE as shyt helps but I can still hang wit him and "behave" ....lmao seriously I can he is just that kewl and I wouldnt wanna mess that up...I'm just mad it took me this long to say suttin to him...Not my ususal...but its been 3 months (I realized this this morning) and still kewl...maybe cuz we dont talk often...which is how I like it...but yeah so far so good....I'm just in a good place...maybe even more so cuz I spoke to HER yesterday and she is SOOO HAPPY...that shyt is contagious...I like ppl I care about to be happy it does my heart good...tired of my ppls dealing wit the drama and the BS of life and stalkin azz nukkas...they are the worst....I'm just *sighz* I dun even know...
I worked out this morning bytch is looking RIGHT lmao or so someone keeps tellin me...I am a sukker for attn from the right person...I think I am modest I never...ok well not ususally ..look @ myself and say Tej ya a bad bytch...but when the right person says it to me...or just calls me to tell me , "YOU"RE PRETTY AZ HELL" lmao does this old lady's heart some good...I swear his voice ..lawd...I dunno I think I am tettering a line...but who gives a shyt I am ignoring it...right and wrong in this situ is blurred to me...not my fault...he drove me into this situ...and drove him to be in this situ...I dunno if HE feels bad..I know I dont...I think Imma break my own rules and call him more regularly dayum him and waitin for HIM to call him back...He thinks like I do...like yo I told u I liked you 1ce that should be good enuff...u know ppl like me need reassurance....*sighs* maybe I make him feel the same...*shrugs* ..til next time lovies *smootches*
Posted at 11:48 am by Tejor
