12.18.2004
Meet The Fockers....was a funny movie but NOT as funny as Meet The Parents.....but I was in knots either way...maybe it was the Coquito that had me laffin so dayum hard...I found myself in the club askin myself..."was the movie good ?!" but yea it was...I guess I just expected to be more amused than I was *shrugs* and NOOOO it don't come out til 12/22 b4 u even ask me.....
I had Coquito and Corona's wit Lime and made it to work by 9 this morning *bows* amazing right....specially since I haven't been to work all week....Christmas...Merry Frickin Christmas...My mind is rambling....most of the thoughts I can't even type but I will say then when I got my lapdance.....YESSSS they bought me a darn lapdance....and I was bein molested I was like dayuuuuuuuuuuuum no Insteads ....I would have..OMG...not even gonna say but THAT chic Heaven...lawd'ha'mercy....
A few things have been on my mind for like a few months now...and *sighz* I KINDA had a talk wit someone yesterday about it and they confirmed what I already knew....He is full of shyt....not to be trusted and someone I shouldn't even speak to....but I feel ...hmmmz...can't even explain wtf is wrong wit me right now...Not even wrong wit me..just ..can't...ugh....I guess I am too preoccupied with so much personal shyt and I havent fully had time to deal wit this BS and get it over with once and for all....I am gettin to it I promise. Ever feel like you are free falling out of an open window from the 115th floor and your eyes are open and even in the midst of tragdey you feel peace ?! Yup thats been my week pretty much....PEACE !!!!!
Havito !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lmfaoo...ok now that I got THAT off my chest later lovelies *smootches*
Posted at 11:41 am by Tejor
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12.6.2004
Hmmmz...so my weekend was kewl...Went to a NETS game and they had a lil old school hip hop concert afterwards...I felt MAD old yo ...every1 around me was like umm 25 and under cept this 1 dude he was rocking it....I may put that clip up later...he was funny as shyt....ok so a perfect cap to the evening would have been Dojo's and Sue's ....but nah...came home and slept like my life depended on it....Had some drama with this BK nukka and...ugh...ok so I guess we KEWL again..wtfever that means I dunno Imma chill cuz 1 of these nukkas is bound to fukk up sooner than later....RED !!!!! that bytch...ok so I ran the story by a few of my CLOSEST male friends and they all agree I am a jerk....ok so maybe I am but I dun ever ever ever in life want a girlfriend EVERRRRRRRRR....I think I made my point but hangin around actin like a nut wont change shyt.....dayum
Sunday !!!! Yes Yes Yes...so my appt @ Verseman Studios went rather well..personally I HATE taking pics but I tried to sukk it up and be cooperative for J...but then I saw the pics and its OBVIOUS I was struggling...HE was so professional tho...made me feel comfortable...even on the fire escape wit dem dayum heels *rolls eyes* * neck jerk* but we will def do it again...I think I got over my fear of the camera....I will, "Make Love 2 It", as Chi 1ce told me and I still havent figured out HOW to do that shyt....but I be like ...I dunno fukk it ...it aint important...lmao but the pics are good....we did good..we gonna go for the GOLD in shoot #2...Pic to the right is one of the pics we took...I MAY post some more next entry....*yawns* we'll see....
*sighz* I did suttin real stupid friday....I wish u could catch yahoo e-mails b4 they are opened...cuz I feel like such a dork for even ....I dunno man...I dun think people realize when they hurt my feelings just cuz I aint boo hooing dun mean I'm kewl....I dun ALWAYS tell ppl how I feel I cant always articulate and some shyt I just cant even bring myself to say.....I COULD just act hardcore and fukk up a perfectly good possiblilty or for 1ce in life calm the hell down...I live life @ like 90 MPH...thats what Nana told me today....she told me to quit my job...pack up the baby and move in with her....food and shelter are free...Man do u even know how much I miss bein the spoiled brat....dun have to work only do it cuz I WANT 2...who'dathunkit .....eh well shawty is all grown up now wit her own lil shawty....
In every action there's a consequence.....dayum....dayum....maybe If I would have.....instead of....then I'd be with HIM right now *sighz* would I be happy ?! I realized today after a slick azz remark nahh I wouldnt be....I wish someone would stop sellin these corny azz nukkas pipe dreams cuz tellin me u wanna be with me is sooooooooooo lame....just be honest..."Tej...I wanna smash" ...Brutal honesty turns me on..how could it NOT ?! shyt I do it oooooh so well *winkz* Fukk the BS I need a thug nukka make me wanna act like Shorty in the Youngbuck video....shyt put it on me so good make me act like Vivica @ the awards LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ok Im lying now....not even a thug...Just a nukka...thats simply what he is a muhfukkin NUKKA....my muhfukkin Nukka ..dare 2 dream lovelies *smootches*
Posted at 09:32 pm by Tejor
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12.4.2004
One of the people I was referring to as far as friendships I fukked up was Denyle and as you all can see he stopped by ...every1 wave @ Denyle *cheese face* I LOOOOOOOOOVE that boy u have NO IDEA *sighz* ok I feel 1/2 better now.....I think the other I will leave alone *sighz* but for the hell of it I was talkin about TJ yup the 1 wit the same eyes as mine ...... I promise I am gettin better at the phone thing...I just....I dunno *sighz* now we will work on going 2 see people...it's all a process in my 12 step program....ok I am on step 2 but hey at least I am makin an effort....But HE LOOOOVES ME....mesohappy :)...ok lovies
*smootches*
Posted at 02:45 pm by Tejor
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12.3.2004
SHYT !!!!!!!!!!! CAN A BYTCH LIVE ?!?!?!i MEAN GAWD DAYUM BASTIDS GET OF MUH FUKKING CLIT ....UGHHHHHH
K..THATS IT I'M DONE...FUKK BEIN NICE ....SMH LATAZ ----->>
Posted at 04:47 pm by Tejor
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OK so I was thinkin...yea I know surprise surprise....but I talked to HIM yesterday *thinking* yeah yesterday and I realized suttin...I am 2 dang proud a person....Im the type that when u said you will call me back.....I'll wait...so in doin so I think I missed out on sum things...I dun like to feel like I am sweating someone yanno ?!?! like I be lookin at my phone...and be about to hit *speed dial # ?!* but I just cant bring myself to do it....Common sense would tell me he be as busy as I am...I just cant...Maybe cuz I know what could happen if I talk to him 2 often *thinkin* ok I think I am punkin out...but I have GOOD reason ..trust me...
So he is mad kewl....When I say that I mean it so seriously....like ...how can I say this without sounding mushy ?! Like really he is the type of dude I call my boyfriend or I would call my boyfriend...yanno if the situ was diff...At first I was thinkin sexually....but then I talked to him and was like dayum his voice...things he says....he can say Sup Kid...and I start blushin...I dunno...just a small moment of happiness is all I need in this world...not to be confused with I LOVE HIM...cuz I don't...I mean he is a COOL ASS DUDE....seriously....potentially a GREAT friend altho due to "certain circumstances" it may cause an issue....I'm just really feelin our situ....*cheese face* the fact that he is FOINE as shyt helps but I can still hang wit him and "behave" ....lmao seriously I can he is just that kewl and I wouldnt wanna mess that up...I'm just mad it took me this long to say suttin to him...Not my ususal...but its been 3 months (I realized this this morning) and still kewl...maybe cuz we dont talk often...which is how I like it...but yeah so far so good....I'm just in a good place...maybe even more so cuz I spoke to HER yesterday and she is SOOO HAPPY...that shyt is contagious...I like ppl I care about to be happy it does my heart good...tired of my ppls dealing wit the drama and the BS of life and stalkin azz nukkas...they are the worst....I'm just *sighz* I dun even know...
I worked out this morning bytch is looking RIGHT lmao or so someone keeps tellin me...I am a sukker for attn from the right person...I think I am modest I never...ok well not ususally ..look @ myself and say Tej ya a bad bytch...but when the right person says it to me...or just calls me to tell me , "YOU"RE PRETTY AZ HELL" lmao does this old lady's heart some good...I swear his voice ..lawd...I dunno I think I am tettering a line...but who gives a shyt I am ignoring it...right and wrong in this situ is blurred to me...not my fault...he drove me into this situ...and drove him to be in this situ...I dunno if HE feels bad..I know I dont...I think Imma break my own rules and call him more regularly dayum him and waitin for HIM to call him back...He thinks like I do...like yo I told u I liked you 1ce that should be good enuff...u know ppl like me need reassurance....*sighs* maybe I make him feel the same...*shrugs* ..til next time lovies *smootches*
Posted at 11:48 am by Tejor
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11.30.2004
Call her and ask her.....
Hmmz @ that concept...That made me feel like I was in HS all over again....Why would I call another female and ask her what's up with you two ?! R U Serious ?! nah this is not happening....There are 2 things I am positive of about myself #1 I am light skinned and #2 I am an asshole oh and #3 I am a woman...lmfao...TJ ya actin different...am I really ?! I dun think I am...the people around me dun think so....in fact I am actin more like myself than I have been lately..FEELS SO GOOD...ugh @ that song cant get out of my head...what ever happened to Davina ?! *mind wanders*
Men....I dun get em.....well I do I think I get em a lil 2 good which is y when they TRY to BS me I feel like they are insultin my intelligence.....I think I know what u mean better than U do most of the time....call it a character flaw...I call it being NICE. Seriously, in 1 breath someone can tell me I am not like other femmes...I am this and I am that and that SAME someone will tell me I NEVER listen only hear what I want...wouldnt that make me like other femmes then ?! *thinkin* do u even know me ?! This is life and I am only given 1 so do I A. Get stressed so others can be happy or 2. Live it up and die with a smile on my face...I choose option #B... #B ?! imma leave that alone.....so umm I been WAITING for this phone call.... I feel like I am livin a countdown.... 2 days til he gives in.... he calls we talk I hear it in his voice but he wont give in...I dun even play dirty no fun in that...I would like him to believe he has it under control but u know how I do...when I get to the point that I'VE had enuff the dirt will surface ....lmfao...its cute for now...actually brings a smile to my face....maybe I am a lil to forward sometimes...so I am chillin...I know what I can and cant have...thats a good enuff feelin of satisfaction for me...I got off my kick of really wantin this dude (diff dude..pay attn..lol) or likin him in THAT way....I realized I like just talkin to him....like bein around him just like him as a person as a friend...I like that feeling...new friendship the type thats not tainted or ugly yet...the type that is like u know he appreciates u as much as u him and he doesnt call u just to tell u he wants to fukk...its a look he gives whenever he sees me....same look I give him and we understand and its over....nuttin to be done about it...a small pleasure in my long dayz....talk to him every 1ce in a blue...funny tho cuz whenever he sees me he keeps me grinnin ear to ear...You Are So Fukking Beautiful Yo...So fukkin pretty Oh my gawd *blushes* I can still hear him sayin it the way he did on the phone the other nite..*sighs* does suttin to me like when Mo used to call me and say Hey Miss Lady...lmao omg i feel my face turn red just saying it...speakin of RED ...lmfao RED is ummmm yea Sunday and DAYUMMMMMMMM if u can figure out what I mean by that I'll give u a cookie ...lmfao...ok now I am really bein a fool...til later lovies....*smootches*
Posted at 11:21 am by Tejor
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11.29.2004
Oh lawd.....where to begin....Friday...Sue's Rendevzous....Saturday...Sue's Rendezvous *insert HUGE cheeseface here*...LMFAO...this 1 chic...OMFG and then this other chic OMFG umm ok so onto a new topic...I been tipsy like ALLL weekend btwn that and them chics...*faints* umm ok so we went to FRIDAY's ...I loathe that place....seriously...ppl always wanna meet there and I dun eat bcuz I dun like their dayum food....I can eat the Jack Daniels Steak sumtimes...but I am pretty dayum sick of it.....I LOVE Olive Garden, Dojo's (my fave) and a few others but ugh hey its where every1 else wants to go so hey what can I do...Imma trooper I ROLL with the punches....OMG but the Blue Storm/Perfect Storm...fukk it blue slushy shyt is off the chain and WE ALL KNOW HOW I GET WHEN I AM DRINKING....Bwahahahaha ..Nah I was nice tho...liked every1 that showed up plus Lil Mal was with me so I was sober *cheese face*...OMFG OMFG OMFG...I saw HIMMMMMMMMMM *drool face* *hyperventilates* ....ok so call me crazy but as much as I HATE attn...I fukkin LOVE it he called me and said 1 sentence and I was like melting on my bed....ok yea I was feeling like a girl and I was irritating the ppl in my house and so my phone died and umm yeah I was out all nite wit no phone....but WHO CARES....lmao...ok nah 4real I got mad love for this dude ...no BS wit him....I EXPECT certain ish from him which makes me feel "comfortable" yup thats the word....I dunno its not even a sexual thing...umm ok maybe jus a little...but yanno...
I was debating with myself over an issue...I was like Tej sometimes u r 2 harsh on ppl...U overreact...blah blah blah.... so I tested a theory and Ta dah !!! I was so correct...They only want u when they think someone else has you...You put the key to the ignition and their hand and they try to drive someone else....funny how it works that way....I am tired of the lame ish..."Tej I love you" mind u im hearing this from more than 1 person..none of which have a clue...smmfh....Love= overused/underextended...feel me ?! I'm str8 tho...The GRIME factor will continue...conscious is clear and OMFG *drool face* how the hell can I NOT ?!
Dayummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...ok thats all imma say about THAT...yeah I know Im leaving ish out but they is CERTAIN shyt I dun need CERTAIN ppl to know so ummm....but if u call me I'll gladly tell ya LMFAO
...ok later lovies *smootches*
Posted at 10:22 am by Tejor
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11.26.2004
Lovers and Friendzzzzz...
Ok so this song is in my head and won't get out...tell me againnnnnnnnnn....it's a good look baby ...ok then Lil Jon...kills the whole dayum song for me..zip ya pants up my mood is blown ....So the wonderful world of corporate america....I am at work...feelin like bein mischevious an our systems are down and aint a dayum thing to do...cept....Breathe....1 and then 2 .....ok have u noticed I have Chi on the brain ..Chi...brain..lmfaooooo I swear I can not talk to her in months and still feel like I saw her today....can u say crazzzzzzzzy.....deranged ....hmmz ok so its friday and ummm I THINK I am going out 2nite but umm what to wear ?! it's cold as hell...well cold as the dickens outside and I am NOT trying to get more sick for the sake of bein cute....Jeans and umm those boots...U Must see em hold up 
OMG these boots are NASTY....specially in person...call me a biter but my lil sis had em and I was like I MUST get those ...I dreamt about em...and yo I can run in em like I got on sneakers...double bonus for me..cuz me and heels well we dun see eye 2 eye all the time....lmfao.....ok so I didnt work out yesterday 1st day I missed all week...applaud me....ok I didnt weigh myself bcuz I dun wanna sabotage my focus not trying to lose weight...I am however feelin slimmer...I guess thats my goal....I just wanna tone..be tight not be over-jiggling when I step...cuz @ my age...if u dun keep it tight u'll never be tight again .... workin out has kept my mind OFF of sex and drama so thats a bonus...and a few people have seen me and been like YUP....Tej is def a banger *insert blush smily here* lmao...Not that I am not ALWAYS banging...U know how it is....ok I know I am cute but I can be Cute @ 28 or that BADAZZ BYTCH I can be from time to time....right now I am in between... ok now I am babbling cuz I am BORRRRRRRRED to tears...Dayum I wanna go to the store I saw this VS thing I wanna get.....my VS collection is pretty tight I dun get to wear any of it tho cuz umm yanno....n e whoo..I am off I'll let y'all know 2morrow what went on 2nite....Imma see HER and no mother nature to interfere....Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh u like that dun chu ..lmaoooooooo...*smootches*
Posted at 10:50 am by Tejor
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11.25.2004
Gobble Gobble Bytches....
I have definitely flew th cookoos nest bcuz erra umm...ok rewind...I flipped out last nite...In a way that I havent flipped out on some1 in a long azz time....then I said to myself, "Self..wtf is ya problem" so I nicely told myself I was a hating azz broad...Yes Tej=Hater lmfao...hard to believe nah not really helps me know I am human....Y was I hating ?!...None of ya fukkin bizness ...SIKE...nah I wasnt even hating I was feeling replaced...yeah thats the word...it's like this..U ever have a friend that you think is the same friend to you as you are to them...then they get another friend and u feel kinda left outta that loop...yeah replaced....which is suttin I usually do but I havent been doing bcuz thanks to the "pussy protector" lmao I have found "myself".....Not that I was lost or anything...but he challenges my thought process and doesnt let me get away with my usual 1/2 azz sly remarks..he makes me EXPLAIN wtf I am talkin about....not in a judgemental way but ...I cant even explain how our conversations go...1 minute I wanna fight him and the next I wanna hug him...I dunno now that I am a lil more focussed I know what I want...well more like I know what my ultimate goal is...I still have "issues" I need to deal with b4 I unfairly ask some1 to do the unthinkable....Yea I am feeling again like the ultimate love is attainable and y even settle for less than that at my age is fukkin ridiculous....Dayum I need to get sum azz soon got me seein shyt....btwn no dyck/or pussy for that matter and PMS I been having a BULLSHYT Month.....There's always the calm b4 the storm and who's to say the storm is gonna be a BAD 1 ?! I have love in my life...My son is the BEST kid in the universe and I have fam...not the conventional 1 but still..and as sum1 told me today I have a nice azz...wtfever that wull get me in life...y complain ?! I'm not it's thanksgiving and I am just thankful for all of u that take the time to read my babbling and havent called Bellevue on me yet.....Good Friends/Family and Great Food..I wish you and all your the best....HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!! *smootches*
Posted at 08:54 pm by Tejor
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11.22.2004
Breathe...Stretch...Shake....
Please tell me y SHE got this song in my fukkin head...now everytime I think of head I see Mase...thats not cute....ok so I am nooooo longer PMSg ...YAY !!! and oh yea the AZZHOLE IS BACK !!!! yea I know we all missed her cuz all this I need a boooooooyfriend shyt was pissin me off...now I just wanna fu...nah I dun even wanna do that so I WONT finish that sentence...However I will say I been feeling real lesbianic this week....maybe cuz I been seein sum sexy bytches ...specially these Mamis in the Bronx...wit the legs cuz these fukkin hills we got up here....so whats new wit me ?! Ummm nuttin ...same shyt just diff perspective.....Oooo Thanksgiving is this week and I hate turkey and I have to work friday so I aint goin nowhere.....Oh my flymissez is here ...lmfao (OMG u HAVE to see the bod) but umm yeah she is here so I may go out and Friday lite brite will be here...LMFAOOOOOO he gon kill me for that shyt but yeah so I am thinkin how much BS I can stand for the nite just for the sake of hangin out ..*thinkin* I am in azzhole mode and I am bout sick of nukkas hittin me up on sum Tej so and so talkin about u...BLOW IT OUT YA AZZ.....I dun care I feel like this is SOME1 wants ME to KNOW how THEY feel...U think maybe...just maybe they will tell me themselves ?!?!?! Hmmz interesting concept....
Nukkas think I be mad...I aint mad at a muhfukkin person...I expect people to be zackly who the fukk they are... U can't expect people to do anything but be themselves it may not be to ya liking BUT its what makes us different and what makes us attracted to a person in the 1st place...right ?! Shyt I am 5'2" how harmful can I really be anyway *insert evil grin here*
OOOOO guess what...My fat azz been doin miltary crunches and I feel oh so hyped....workin out makes me feel like a BAD bytch....I be like hit me nukka...hit me...oh and I took Drew and Flymisses and Mal's advice and DRANK WATER....ok I cant get used to runnin to the potty every 5 minutes like Im pregnant but Imma try this shyt 4 2 weeks I'll let y'all know how this goes...cuz the azz got bigger...shockin right....and thats not cute *insert bytch ur the worst smiley here* hmmz...ok so on that note it's Pilates Time !!!!!!!!!!!!!! until I blog again lovies *smootches*
Posted at 09:15 pm by Tejor
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