11.25.2004
Gobble Gobble Bytches....
I have definitely flew th cookoos nest bcuz erra umm...ok rewind...I flipped out last nite...In a way that I havent flipped out on some1 in a long azz time....then I said to myself, "Self..wtf is ya problem" so I nicely told myself I was a hating azz broad...Yes Tej=Hater lmfao...hard to believe nah not really helps me know I am human....Y was I hating ?!...None of ya fukkin bizness ...SIKE...nah I wasnt even hating I was feeling replaced...yeah thats the word...it's like this..U ever have a friend that you think is the same friend to you as you are to them...then they get another friend and u feel kinda left outta that loop...yeah replaced....which is suttin I usually do but I havent been doing bcuz thanks to the "pussy protector" lmao I have found "myself".....Not that I was lost or anything...but he challenges my thought process and doesnt let me get away with my usual 1/2 azz sly remarks..he makes me EXPLAIN wtf I am talkin about....not in a judgemental way but ...I cant even explain how our conversations go...1 minute I wanna fight him and the next I wanna hug him...I dunno now that I am a lil more focussed I know what I want...well more like I know what my ultimate goal is...I still have "issues" I need to deal with b4 I unfairly ask some1 to do the unthinkable....Yea I am feeling again like the ultimate love is attainable and y even settle for less than that at my age is fukkin ridiculous....Dayum I need to get sum azz soon got me seein shyt....btwn no dyck/or pussy for that matter and PMS I been having a BULLSHYT Month.....There's always the calm b4 the storm and who's to say the storm is gonna be a BAD 1 ?! I have love in my life...My son is the BEST kid in the universe and I have fam...not the conventional 1 but still..and as sum1 told me today I have a nice azz...wtfever that wull get me in life...y complain ?! I'm not it's thanksgiving and I am just thankful for all of u that take the time to read my babbling and havent called Bellevue on me yet.....Good Friends/Family and Great Food..I wish you and all your the best....HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!! *smootches*
Posted at 08:54 pm by Tejor
Permalink
11.22.2004
Breathe...Stretch...Shake....
Please tell me y SHE got this song in my fukkin head...now everytime I think of head I see Mase...thats not cute....ok so I am nooooo longer PMSg ...YAY !!! and oh yea the AZZHOLE IS BACK !!!! yea I know we all missed her cuz all this I need a boooooooyfriend shyt was pissin me off...now I just wanna fu...nah I dun even wanna do that so I WONT finish that sentence...However I will say I been feeling real lesbianic this week....maybe cuz I been seein sum sexy bytches ...specially these Mamis in the Bronx...wit the legs cuz these fukkin hills we got up here....so whats new wit me ?! Ummm nuttin ...same shyt just diff perspective.....Oooo Thanksgiving is this week and I hate turkey and I have to work friday so I aint goin nowhere.....Oh my flymissez is here ...lmfao (OMG u HAVE to see the bod) but umm yeah she is here so I may go out and Friday lite brite will be here...LMFAOOOOOO he gon kill me for that shyt but yeah so I am thinkin how much BS I can stand for the nite just for the sake of hangin out ..*thinkin* I am in azzhole mode and I am bout sick of nukkas hittin me up on sum Tej so and so talkin about u...BLOW IT OUT YA AZZ.....I dun care I feel like this is SOME1 wants ME to KNOW how THEY feel...U think maybe...just maybe they will tell me themselves ?!?!?! Hmmz interesting concept....
Nukkas think I be mad...I aint mad at a muhfukkin person...I expect people to be zackly who the fukk they are... U can't expect people to do anything but be themselves it may not be to ya liking BUT its what makes us different and what makes us attracted to a person in the 1st place...right ?! Shyt I am 5'2" how harmful can I really be anyway *insert evil grin here*
OOOOO guess what...My fat azz been doin miltary crunches and I feel oh so hyped....workin out makes me feel like a BAD bytch....I be like hit me nukka...hit me...oh and I took Drew and Flymisses and Mal's advice and DRANK WATER....ok I cant get used to runnin to the potty every 5 minutes like Im pregnant but Imma try this shyt 4 2 weeks I'll let y'all know how this goes...cuz the azz got bigger...shockin right....and thats not cute *insert bytch ur the worst smiley here* hmmz...ok so on that note it's Pilates Time !!!!!!!!!!!!!! until I blog again lovies *smootches*
Posted at 09:15 pm by Tejor
Permalink
11.16.2004
Umm so I feel like CRAP...stomach is killin me..Feels like I do when I bite my tongue and hold everything in...I dun have no issues against no1...I told every1 pretty much how I was feeling about em....so y am I in pain...I hate bein a woman I swear I do sumtimes...I had tea and I feel like its worst....I been arguing since like 7am not even arguing but like spazzing bcuz ppl just dun get it....Its like ppl think I have no feelings and I am a stone cold bytch....I bleed...I cry ...I hurt and I get fat (ugh ok lets not even go there) but I mean...ughhhh ok thats pretty much how that goes...I still didnt talk to HIM this week...havent spoken to HIM since the day after I saw him....what does that mean ?! hmmz maybe thats whats bothering me...*calls BK* u know what...I think Imma leace well enuff alone *scrolls thru phone* DELETE...hmmz I think the pain is subsiding...let me find out thats what it was the whole dayum time ....fukk this ..I'm out *smootches*
Posted at 11:49 am by Tejor
Permalink
11.13.2004
I am sooooo feeling ugh right now...I am sposed to be in Bmore right now BUT the weather was nasty and I couldnt see...I dunno how I made it home last nite with no glasses...eh thank GOD for little miracles... ok so I bought a new shirt looked cute on the hangar BUT I put it on and my stomach became round and too big so it slid UP...I should be embarassed huh ?! nah shyt Im gettin old and Im and bloated ....yes thats my excuse BLOATED....
Ever feel like you cant breathe ?! Nah I dun mean cuz I ate too much bbq just sumtimes I feel like I can feel the life leaving out of me...dare I say I grew a conscious....couldnt have..I refuse to admit I care about any1 elses feelings at this point. I am still that spoiled 10 year old..and I want what I want at any cost...and I usually get...Love ?! Am I in love ?! ...cant be cuz love wouldnt let me do the things I do. Its not even lust...I think its despair...not to be confused with desparation ..My FOINE azz desparate ?! NEVER !!!!!!! lmfao...Its only a temporary glitch in the matix a couple of Midol and I'll be str8 in the morning...not str8 literally..cuz well ..yanno how that goes ...
Ahhh yes MD I must be on my way now...give Candy a call and maybe hit a club in DC...eh we'll see I am HORRIBLE with callin ppl...Its like I HATE talkin on the phone yet I cant live w/o my cell.. find the logic in that cuz I swear I cant find any....Anyway lovies I am off til Monday I guess...Miss me much and PRAY PRAY PRAY 4 me...Only God can help me now *smootches*
Posted at 06:12 am by Tejor
Permalink
11.11.2004
Ok so I had a blogdrive account for MONTHS...never used it..didnt have time for it...and 4got wtf I called it...typical me huh ?! So anyways I am feeling rather "down" lately and read a few other blogs and thought YESS !!! this is what I need b4 I go to sleep....Therapy
All I ever wanted was complete honesty....I guess I was asking too much. I was thinking way to hard today..not to mention horny as shyt...I was thinking how vindictive a person I have become....How I put myself in situs that make me wanna fight myself...Then I look in the mirror and see my heart on my collar waitin to choke the life out of me...strange description huh ?! Nah not really when u think about it...My heart has been broken too many times to count and I have become the type of person I used to despise...Girl...I would never...eh well I did ...and Im not sorry I did it ...but I fear I opened a can of worms...ever heard of suttin feeling TOOOOOOOO good....welp I found it...so good in fact I cant even look at it...hear it...or touch it...more than 1ce a week or I start zoning....askin myself stupid questions and wanting shyt I CAN'T have...actually I CAN have it I am just not supposed to...I like challenges..He has proved to be just that a got dayum challenge...His whole being is fukkin sexy...his nonchalant attitude...his smell and YES even his insults...He makes me wanna fight him and fukk the shyt out of him all in a matter of minutes....but I asked myself y r u feeling this way and I told myself I am driven by rage and my need to break even...I feel like I am in Beloved "Touch me on my inside parts" just ugh..am I makin sense yet ?! I need Midol cuz this PMS ...slow music mood I am in is the worst makes me wanna call people and be like I LOVE YOU !! but I soooooo know thats not the case but I feel a longing to be with...I think I like how that sounds better....I am now sleepy and have made a little dent in my depression *sighz* I think I will continue this another day when I am more able to express myself where people can understand ...or maybe its better if you dont understand bcuz then u'll know MORE than you should and I only know 1 person I trust with that kind of info ...lmfao she prolly already read this shyt and figured it out...anyway lovies...I'm out *smootches*
Posted at 10:57 pm by Tejor
Permalink
